Very Necessary Mood Adjustment
Some moments of anger, despair, jealously, and feelings of worthlessness. The anger felt the best of the group, because it is energetic. Moving the emotional scale required a lot of searching for better feeling thoughts. I arrived at the thought that being happy already, instead of wanting to be happy makes other things irrelevant. If I were filled to the brim now with happiness and joy aligns me with the power of the universe and puts my feelings and my feeling of worth on a stable footing.
Skewering a Pattern of Resistance
The other note is that I felt and clearly identified one way my resistance works by halting my open and expansive plans with crazy ideas of putting thing right at home first.
That is a SNEAKY and “justified” excuse for resisting my own good. Happily, I did grab my camera and drive to Sonoma Square to take photos, just as I planned the evening before. Without hesitation I woke, dressed, brushed my teeth and set out at 6:30 a.m.