Kicking the Tires of Sunday, September 16

Playing Around with Virtual Reality

Another moment of virtual reality: writing the closing pages on a humorous novel recasting my life as a delightful comedy filled with character and engaging writing. Wow! I really like that idea. I really want to be a humorous writer. As I write the final close pages, my heart bursts with satisfaction. I feel so happy. I had a wonderful time allowing the creation of this book.

On My Way to a Week of Pony-Trekking

Now, I am getting off my first-class flight to Reykjavik. Flying first class is so fun and so relaxing. The flight attendants in the first-class cabin were such fun and so attentive. The food was delicious, and the passengers got together for a spontaneous sing-along. Furthermore, I even had a delicious sleep as well; the seats made up into beds that reminded me of the sleeping hammocks used by the sailors in the British Navy during the days of sail. Meeting me at the plane was one of the ten best looking men in the Northern Hemisphere. Such a delight of chiseled features, true-gold hair, and intense blue eyes. Lovely to look at, but I am more interested in meeting the horses!.

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Kicking the Tires of Tuesday, August 18

Thinking Millionaire at Seventy-One

It is easier today creating the idea that I am an overnight multimillionaire; that thought satisfies me for now. There are two things that really light my fire about being a millionaire.

Two Kinds of Millionaire Fun

Numero Uno is freedom, freedom, freedom to move anywhere that I want to go at the drop of a hat, IN COMFORT. NumeroDuo is the financial means to expand the comfort and ease of the elderly friends in my life. I can buy Genny’s mobile home, then upgrade and remodel it in a manner worthy of Architect’s Digest. When necessary, I can provide the finest quality of care for my sister, Genny, and for Greg.

The Third Kind of Fun

Yes, I referenced two wonderful things about being a multimillionaire, but I am going to sneak in a third: that of entertaining my friends. Think of it! Game Days at the Ritz-Carleton, with transportation provided by limousine.

These thoughts certainly delight me more than those of my usual trend of mind.

Kicking the Tires of Saturday, August 15

graphic
I am old and do not wear my trousers rolled

Virtual Reality More Fun than “What Is”

Understood clearly the concept of “virtual reality.” Its’ purpose is shifting focus away from “what is” to more pleasant, fun and uplifting thoughts. Shifting thoughts shifts feelings, that in turn shift vibration.

A Virtual Moment with a Real Writer

It’s a sparkling April day in Rome. Women wear sleeveless dresses in apricot, turquoise, ivory and lemon yellow. The sun kisses with warmth from a vivid sky. I am having lunch with one of my favorite woman authors. We are sitting at an outdoor café with espressos and bottles of mineral water. The two of us are having a wonderful time. The author is as lighthearted and enjoyable as I imagined her to be I feel myself to be at my lighthearted and wise best. Our heads are bent over an absorbing conversation that engages us both and having a wonderful time. Of course, the books that we love sprinkle the conversation.

Kicking the Tires of Thursday August 30

Enthusiasm

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Enthusiasm

Filled with enthusiasm for my new project.

That’s why I am running three days behind with posts. My attention has been diverted into applying for a fabulous full time job with the Sonoma County library as it’s Public Relations and Community Outreach main woman.

I can do this job! Hell’s bells, I am already doing it! I already have have a campaign sketched out that is engaging.  If that doesn’t work, then I will wangle a free-lance or part time gig creating graphics and written content.  I’ll create my own business.

I submitted the formal application complete with resume and cover letter. What I am working on now is a personal web site with a complicated but very effective theme. As the header, I am using an image of me that I really like, and that I am posting here, because I want to put a photo with each post.

Kicking the Tires of Thursday, August 23

No angst, no internal conflict, and resistance level down 2.5 point. Here I am basking contentedly in self-satisfaction. What a heady feeling to see, hear, taste, smell and feel satisfaction, yet simultaneously desiring much, much more. Happy, yet filled with anticipation. I am validating for myself the words and wisdom of Abraham expressed through the medium of Esther Hicks. You know, I want for myself as deep a connection with Universal mind as she has.

Over and over, I prove to myself from experience that spending the first minutes of the day meditating, aligning with Universal Mind, and reaching for better feeling thoughts yields benefits about five-hundred-fold in terms of ease and fun and satisfaction and inspiration. Thought is a funny thing. It’s not a funny thing; it’s a double-edged sword. When thinking lightly there is ease, while heavy though snarls the world around me. Abraham is right; its not a matter of thinking, it’s a matter of feeling your way through the world.

Kicking the Tires of Tuesday, August 21

Yesterday was filled with some great moments of releasing resistance. There was a series of garden tasks waiting for completion. I felt resentment accompanied by a series of thoughts saying, “these tasks are standing the way of you doing what you really want to do.” Remembering my intention to release resistance, I focused on completing the tasks in as focused a manner as I could muster.

I began to enjoy what I what doing; I watched my surroundings tidy themselves. I felt the energy flowing. In a very short time, the tasks were all completed. I felt good and I was free to write and study as I wanted to do.

Kicking the Tires of Monday August 20

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Moving Forward on Mondays

Moving Forward on Monday

It feels so good see clearly and to feel strongly the ways I have resisted, and pinched off my connection to Source Energy, or as I prefer to call it: Universal mind. The important thing is to simply recognize it a simple error. It is an error that corrects itself as I look forward and move forward.

I can say with certainty that NOT allowing myself to move forward  focusing on the day, and deliberately moving myself in the direction of feeling good is a wasted day. Wasted days are not days where nothing gets done. Wasted days are days where I don’t focus on feeling good and flowing energy.

Wasted days are days where I don’t reach for alignment, followed by enjoyment from being engaged in what I am doing.

Kicking the Tires of Friday August 17

Dropping the Baggage

Everything from the day before is gone; it’s vanished, and its vibrations are over. All that I want to retain is moments of feeling good. Yesterday’s best moments were listening to Abraham. Happiness is clarity about the huge gap between the happiness I am feeling in this moment and the amount of happiness stockpiled in the vortex. It’s happiness I can access through deliberate application of allowing.

Graphic of colored calla lillies
Drop yesterday; look for things I like to see

It’s True; Happiness is a Choice

Just saying that I have the ability to allow is upbeat. Just knowing that I can choose to be receptive is upbeat. Just knowing that feeling my solar plexus shut down signals me that I am resistant. Just knowing that feeling my solar plexus open signals my receptivity is upbeat. I know that I have the capacity for doing it all when I turn it over to Universal Manager. I have the capacity for more and more energy flow, more and more well-being, more and more financial abundance. I am ready to be ready. I am ready to be ready for oceans of abundance.

Looking for things that I want to see.

Kicking the Tires of Monday July 30

Dollars Trickling In

August is two days away and I feel money trickling into my accounts. Yes! That is the response to my new vibrational set point. Better yet, I am having so much fun teaching and creating marvelous solutions for small businesses. I am getting such a kick out of the positive responses from my combined blog, podcasts and videos. It’s so fun discovering that I really have a talent for creating video content that really grabs people in a delightful way.

Kicking the Tires of Friday, July 27

Craphic
Go This Way

Feeling My Way on a New Direction

Yes! Yes! Yes! I am rapidly feeling my way toward massive success with my teaching and training online business. I love the idea of creating a product that combines graphics and videos and podcasts in addition to text. The road ahead is becoming more and more clear. Better yet I am building habits more closely aligned with the person created in “the vortex. I am satisfied right now, but I am really looking forward to more. And I am looking forward to the fun of recognition.

Kicking the Tires of Thursday, July 19

It’s all about Relaxing into the Comfort of the Day

Forgot, until just now the major decision I made yesterday. I live my daily life with the same delicious comfort and freedom from conflict that I experience in the morning when I wake up in my perfect bed. My jaw is relaxed, my shoulders have dropped. My focus is about using today’s journal entry as a tool to reach for better feeling thoughts and aligning with source. I dedicate this moment to really enjoying this day. Looking for things that I want to see and reveling in the abundance that is all around me today.

Looking for Something I Want to See

Graphic of geraniums
Looking for something beautiful

Kicking the Tires of Wednesday July 18

Getting it Done Today

Good day sunshine! Out early to prune the magenta oleander. Practicing mindfulness, I carried the big ladder out of its storage slot. When I set it up, it was solid, in spite of the ground of eight percent. I made headway pruning the upper growth until I encountered a squadron of wasps. Quickly I ceased my efforts, and retired the field. Until I acquire a wasp trap, I am postponing that project until I feel safer.

Epiphany

I experienced a wallapalooza of an epiphany, concerning my mistaken belief about my dependency on my parents. It was an epiphany that felt wonderful and soothing and relaxing. I am hanging on to that epiphany. During the dawn hours, I decided that I loved to stay in bed because it was the place where I felt free all of a piece and free of conflicting energies. In bed I don’t juggle goals with my desires to please and have people like. I want to live my waking hours with the same comfort and self-possession that I feel in bed. I can focus upon staying connected with source, then lay my intentions lightly upon the day. For my sanity and for the sake of my late-in-life goals, I have to turn my life over to my manager. You: know, that manager: the one related to the fairies of the universe, the brownies, and the pixies.

Thought of the Day:

There are only two things that on my daily to do list: align my energy with source and don’t split my energy with conflicting thoughts. Simply choose to have it all, then turn it over to my manager.

Kicking the Tires of Tuesday, July 17

graphic
career is your key to happiness and satisfaction

First Published Post for How to Change Your Career

Climbing back on my perch! Finished my first business post for How to Change Your Career. It was a great post in terms of the SEO rules, but it didn’t provide value to the reader. I will serve some purpose and when other posts are added. it may prove useful.

Useful Career Information

Today’s post is going to move immediately into providing useful information that people can use. My desire is to move directly into information without worrying about providing background information. My day is going to be mapped out between relationships, gardening and productive work on my business. The wonderful thing is that I can spend five hours of work immediately. Up from bed and to work. However, that doesn’t work as well as getting up and getting myself and my working environment in shape.

Career is Key to Satisfaction and Happiness

Kicking the Tires of Thursday June 28

 

So happy! Got my bills paid with money left over! I am feeling so energized because there are so many exciting things to do on my list! Ideas keep popping. My job is easy: keep focusing on the alignment without getting distracted by the doing. Manager is managing my life and will handle the details in such a way that everything is working out for me in wonderful ways.

Kicking the Tires of Friday, June 29

Up Day

Today is an UP day, an UP UP UP day.

More and more I am remembering to feel good, feel really good, feel top of the heap good as opposed to mulish and resistance that feels familiar but definitely does not feel good – at all.

I demonstrated to myself, that feeling really good allows me to connect with that energetic, rocking momma, it allows me to allow everything to work out in the best possible way.

Every day, in every way, I am better and better and better.

Everything is always working out for me,

Kicking the Tires of Tuesday, June 26

Very Necessary Mood Adjustment

Some moments of anger, despair, jealously, and feelings of worthlessness. The anger felt the best of the group, because it is energetic. Moving the emotional scale required a lot of searching for better feeling thoughts. I arrived at the thought that being happy already, instead of wanting to be happy makes other things irrelevant. If I were filled to the brim now with happiness and joy aligns me with the power of the universe and puts my feelings and my feeling of worth on a stable footing.

Skewering a Pattern of Resistance

The other note is that I felt and clearly identified one way my resistance works by halting my open and expansive plans with crazy ideas of putting thing right at home first.

That is a SNEAKY and “justified” excuse for resisting my own good. Happily, I did grab my camera and drive to Sonoma Square to take photos, just as I planned the evening before. Without hesitation I woke, dressed, brushed my teeth and set out at 6:30 a.m.

Kicking the Tires of Thursday June 21

Quick Little Confidence Check

Pulling every trick I know to Shift this mood. Hurry, start playing an album by “The Piano Guys!”  Their music is an instant high, and so good for writing.

In the early hours, I woke feeling neck pain and immediately shifted to a better feeling place. My neck muscles relaxed, pain diminished and my mood lifted. It’s true! I am feeling satisfaction with the progress that I have made over the past three weeks. With confidence, I can say I am gaining momentum in the direction I want to travel.

It took a long time to establish the low vibrational set point that was once the canvas upon which I painted my days; but I created it unconsciously.

Deliberate and conscious focus is establishing a new set point in a matter of weeks. How can I look at the sunrise through the palm trees and not feel my heart bob up like a cork bobbing on the ocean?

Kicking the Tires of Wednesday June 20

Inspired Action

This morning, gazing through the window into the cold fog I am happy that I was on such a roll yesterday. I made strides forward on my website and the interconnected business that I see in my head. Every day, I am seeing it more clearly, and the actions that rise from the good feeling are truly fun to do. Today, I want produce the same happy result and line up my attention and my intention. It’s true there is a lot of satisfaction working out of inspiration.

Kicking the Tires of Tuesday June 19

Replace Obsession with Finishing

Today, I am replacing obsession with “follow through to finish.” When something isn’t working, I waste hours trying to fix it. If at first, I don’t succeed, try two more times, then walk away and accomplish something else; preferably something with lots of physical action.

Walk Away and Allow the Answer

Of course, it is necessary to fix what doesn’t work, but walking away allows the answer to come out of the blue. Usually when I am working on something that is completely unrelated to the issue.

The Finish Projects Diet

Following through on a project day after day until completion accomplishes something and boosts self-esteem. My live is weighed down with unfinished projects.

The best diet on earth is to eat ice cream at least once every day, and clean up the list of unfinished projects.

Kicking the Tires of Friday, June 15

Kicked off the day with lessons: Adobe Illustrator lessons, Spark lessons. In addition to lessons, spent time with Genny helping her with a new app on for her Iphone, and with finalizing her seat assignment for the Orway to Burlington leg of next week’s trip. Happily, as I learn new graphic skills, I am also formulating my new business in the back of my mind.

It’s said that seeing is believing. A statement that with enough levels to support a term paper. Setting that aside, I can say that it becomes more and more focused in my mind’s the validity that anything that I can imagine, I can have. I can feel, the validity, and I can see it the way that I can see a mountain in the distance that was once too far beyond the scope of my vision,

Kicking the Tires of Thursday June 14

OK here goes. Pure and simply I want to move faster and more successfully to achieving my financial goals, or manifesting the millions available vortex. It’s a simple answer: there is a gap between my current mindset, and the mindset of abundance. My focus is misaligned, and I am resistant rather then open to receiving. Conflicts are canceling out the momentum.

Whoops, I feel myself creating the wrong momentum. “The car perched at the top of Knob Hill is starting to move a direction of self-criticism. That’s developing momentum in the wrong direction. What takes me where I want to go is feeling that I am on the verge of developing a truly wonderful and fun online business that provides a valuable service, generates a lot of income, and is a lot of fun to do. There is a huge market among the senior community. There is an opportunity for me to become a real presence, with a lot of positive public exposure.

Well that short paragraph has definitely moved me in the direction that I want to go,

Kicking the Tires of Tuesday June 12

Good Morning Resistance

Here I sit, feeling resistance. Yet, I’ve decided that nothing is more important than feeling good. One the other hand, feeling resistant is a familiar feeling. It’s so easy to flop into it; like flopping deep into a feather bed.

The Catch-22 is resistance feels bad and it will feel bad the whole day. I choose to believe that I am too worthwhile to settle-again. Granted, only a narrow range of feelings is available to me, but I have the power of this now to reach for the highest emotion available to me. After all I have moved up the emotional scale to pessimism; I can reach for that.

Pessimism

Most likely, it’s too late for me to make anything of this life; however, I have a lot of comfort and free time. Furthermore, there are many interesting things in the world that reveal themselves to me when I focus my attention. I have the tools to learn new software programs. My plate may be small, but it is heaped with delectable items for my enjoyment.

Learning about the accomplishments of my friend CB skewered me with pain. There is so much to regret for a life that that I frittered away. Yet, I refuse to flagellate myself. The better-feeling choice is rejoicing in my friend’s success, while focusing my attention on extracting the juice from my day. Am I rejoicing in my friend’s success. Hell No! But I want to, I really want too, so I’ll get there.

The Necklace of Small Moments

What I choose to believe is that I can live small moments filled with satisfaction, moments of joyousness. I can have small moments flooded with appreciation and happiness. I can thread a necklace from all the small pearls of moments.

Kicking the Tires of Monday June 11

 

 

 

Graphic with Text
Colors of Pessimism

From Frustration to Pessimism

Today’s morning inspirational read dropped these thoughts into my mind. First, my emotional canvass has shifted far from anger; it has morphed into frustration, and irritation and impatience. That vibrational set point feels miles from the earlier background rumble of anger.

The thought excites me is

“I can move lightly and quickly up the emotional scale. There is no law requiring me to spend lot of time in any state; I don’t have to obtain anyone’s approval to move upward quickly.”

It follows that I can move to pessimism right now, this minute.

Yesterday’s Results

The few minutes spent yesterday on meditation and pre-paving generated a day that worked out smoothly, and effortlessly.

  • The drive to Concord was effortless.
  • I remembered to bring Gwaltney’s scarf with me to Patricia’s house. (Serendipity because Patricia was invited to dine with Gwaltney and Carl that very evening.)
  • The book club discussion was pleasant.

All in all a very satisfactory day that took me to new desire. I want smooth productive evenings, and I want to add meditation and pre-paving to the evening. I have a desire to add wonderful dreams to the agenda.

As a side note, the problem that I thought I had concerning painted valves has resolved itself in an unexpected way; I am confident it will be an easy job installing a new flush valve in the toilet.

Kicking the Tires of Sunday June 9

Up to Frustration

My spirits start moving up the emotional scale just setting up the new post. Shows to go that feeling good can be established as a habit. Looking at the emotional scale, it feels that my set point is at frustration. That’s a much higher place on the scale than one would think. It feels good to think of it as the tipping point where the teeter-totter hits a center balance just before moving upward. It also feels good thinking to think about my accomplishments instead of the things that left undone.

Decision

Graphic of a Magnifying Glass with text
Attribution of Quote “Abraham-Hicks”

Abraham-Hicks quote for today: “A decision is the focusing of the Energy of desire, and the decision point happens when the desire is powerful enough.” What I really like, what I really LIKE  is the following sequence of thoughts.

It doesn’t really matter what decision is made. What is important is deciding and using the decision as a focus of energy. As sunlight catches fire when focused through a magnifying glass, desire catches fire when energy is focused through decision.

I also like thinking that I have been BSing myself by thinking that needs and demands of others prevent me from accomplishing my own goals. When I decide and focus on the decision, the universe bends everything to align with my decision,

Kicking the Tires of Friday, June 8

Graphic of Sailboat
Create new stories for tomorrow

Pre-Planning the Day

Yesterday worked smoothly as satin ribbon unwinding. Driving was easy, communication with a prickly relative were cordial. Happily, I sustained a light and easy connection for several hours before feeling weighed down with resistance.

I am demonstrating to myself that pre-paving the day works; so, won’t it be fun adding segment intending. Kicking the tires with imagination loosens and lightens my world; it opens my thinking to possibilities. I am sincerely of the opinion that my “third stage” life will be enhanced a hundred times over when I expand the boundaries of my mental box.

Imagine New Stories for Tomorrow

I’ve already verified for myself the benefits of dropping the stories of my past and create stories of my future that really float my boat!

 

Kicking the Tires of June 7

GraphicWake up Enthusiastic

It sparkles to wake up enthusiastic about being awake and having a new day in which to play. Looking around, I see a buffet of “to dos” with which I can play to create a day filled with fun and accomplishment. I’ll put one or two of them on my plate, and delegate all the rest to my personal manager to complete in ways that surprise and delight me.

Delegate to “the Manager”

Now that’s really a fun filled thought. It’s a thought that deserves the magical 68 seconds of attention. I am love thinking about a universal manager who supervises “fairies of the universe” devoted to surprising me and delighting me. I great the morning, and list all of my desires. I pick out the cherries, and assign the rest to the manager, resting secure in the knowledge they are in the best of possible hands.

Kicking the Tires of Monday June 4

Create a New Picture from an Old Story

I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know how to begin! I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’ know where to start! Well hell! That’s double dumb: it’s way to late to begin, and way to late to start: decades too late. However late it may be, it’s never too late to add to, or subtract from, or multiply, even possibly divide. Just pick something and change the story your tell yourself about it.

Apply a Reframe

What to do when overwhelmed by confusion? Remember to anchor myself in “now.” Remember that “now” is my point of power. “Now” is a choice point when I can choose a moment of clarity; when I can choose a better feeling thought; when I can stop and be still.

A fairy godmother just waved her magic wand. Now, I feel full-filled. Now I feel at home within my skin. Now I look forward to this day with anticipation. Now I feel open and receptive to the universe.

Create a New Picture from an Old Story

Graphic
Create a new picture from your old story

Kicking the Tires of Tuesday May 29

Out for Revenge

Right now, I am annoyed and pissed at a family member. Color my mood “revengeful.” Thinking of ways to extract revenge for an injustice is going to darken my day. Is this how I want to spend today’s wish?

Managing Mood with Different Thoughts

Graphic wiih flowers and text
Changing Mood

When my fairy godmother offers me a choice between exacting revenge and having twenty dollars in my pocket today, the money wins hands down. Even better, a man or a woman pays me twenty dollars because they are so damn pleased with something wonderful that I created. It could be something I wrote, something designed, or a video that I created.

Now that is a series of thought that really pleases me. That is something into which I can really sink my teeth. Imagine writing something small and brilliant. Imagine a thousand followers for things that I do. That line of thought fills my head completely. I has eradicated the mental nattering of being wronged. My cork floats and bobs on the surface of a sunlit sea. I feel good.

Kicking the Tires of Thursday May 24

Career is the most important arena of my life.

The Career Path Chooses Me

Stymied, stuck, static, solidified, stalagmite-ized. Therefore, the only option is stepping backwards: once, twice, three, four, five, then six steps to gain a more expansive perspective. One that gives me room to breath and feels better.

This perspective allows me the room for better feeling thoughts. It allows me to think and feel that I am already deep into my career.  From an expanded view I am able to see clearly how important to consider every thought, every feeling, and every action as steps on my career path.

My feelings are my most reliable guide. The steps that feel better are career steps; those steps that don’t feel good are not career steps. When I look a others in my life who are deeply engaged with satisfying careers, my job is shifting from feelings of regret, jealousy and envy to a daily practice of enjoyment in their accomplishments and joy in the accomplishments ahead of me.

In general, my career is creating fun, provocative products for myself that elevate my experience of appreciation, well-being and abundance with deft humor. My career is enjoying myself with humor, with twists of perception, and with written and illustrated communications.

Kicking the Tires of Saturday May 11

VICTORY! VICTORY! Standing atop a heap of wins this week. It’s wonderful thinking about al the events that have worked out smoothly this week. The small things equal the “big” things in importance. I treat all of them as evidence that things are always working out for me.

First, I had funds available to treat friends to lunch during a rendezvous at Cornerstones. I acted as host instead of expecting friends, who are temporarily more in funds than I to pick up the bill. Secondly the friends really enjoyed visiting Cornerstones. As a bonus, Spring flowers were blooming everywhere.

Although I spent an amount for lunch that represented a large percentage of my available funds, I had an abundance of funds for renewing my AAA membership at the premium level.

Now, I possess an iPhone. It is in my hands; in my pocket by day; on the nightstand while I sleep. I was so happy with the BLU phone that it tugged my heart to set it aside. Nevertheless, I desired an Iphone because of its enhanced operating system and 32 gigs of memory. The monthly price of the Iphone combined with the cost of mobile service is less than that of my original provider (that I loved). It is reflection of the deliberate focus on shifting the vibrational set point.

Last, but not least, the missing piece of Direct TV equipment (a mini-genie) showed up in my box of electronic parts. It was returned via FedEx on Wednesday morning: G will not be charged for equipment that was not returned.

I love life being good.

Kicking Monday May 6th 2018

Damm! Again, G. interrupts me. Interminable questions about that Samsung Tab E that her friend gifted her with yesterday. My feelings are annoyance and resentfulness accompanied by an internal voice snapping “leave me alone.”

I have only myself to blame. G. cannot buck the current of a vibrational set point that I clearly tuned to “Channel I M Teacher.” After all, I experience lots of satisfaction being the “go to person” when it comes to things electronic. At heart I am a teacher.

Intending, as I do to use this blog as a tool for  FEELING GOOD through the deliberate exercise of my imagination, I can do a better job than I am doing.  Happily, I only have to make a note of it and move on without looking back or spending more than thirty seconds on “regret.”

Once upon a time I avoided wanting things because that wanting seemed hopeless, or I felt guilty for wanting things that were a burden on my parents. Of course, I didn’t realize that I was operating from a defective set point that included two false premises: first that there were limitations to what I could have; second that parents were my source. I didn’t understand that even the sky was not the limit, and the source of power lay with the strength of my alignment with source energy.

Those thoughts spark little bursts of sparkling happiness. The desire for things is a great deal of fun; it is fun to play with the ideas of things to have. It is a magical game when playing it without a single thought of lack. It is such fun opening the switch of a lightbulb that shines on a new perspective that brings relief.

Good, the mood of my morning has been set.

Kicking the Tires of March 23

Mully-Grubby Morning

It’s a hair away from eight in the morning. The sun rising behind the row of palm trees creates a picture that fits an advertising brochure for a tropical island.

However, my feelings don’t match the uplifting view from my window. I am feeling “mully-grubby” which is a feeling identified when I was very young. That feeling established itself as the normal state of feeling when I was about eight.Read More »

Kicking the Tires of March 22, 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo

Signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo with a commitment to write a thirty-thousand-word book this April.  This time, I signed up for a non-fiction book about living life in the fast lane for people over 65.

I am a writer

Fact is, I am a writer.  I write.  I want to write. I think of things I want to say by writing. The quality of the writing, the readability of the writing, the interest of others the output of my writing is irrelevant.

When it comes to writing, it boils down to one thing.  Writing sentences, paragraphs, and pages each day until I complete my word goal. Fortunately, I feel comfortable with writing fragments, like blocks of quilt, then arranging the pieces into a coherent pattern.

Focus on One Thing

Today I read a book that I borrowed from Kindle Unlimited half a year ago. It’s about the power of doing one thing.  The first pages contained a diagram of dominoes accompanied by a description of the power of one domino to knock over a larger domino, and so on and so forth until the escalating power of a single small domino can demolish buildings. This was a red letter insight because I fail to complete things. Project that are started take on a life of their own.  They create a vortex of energy that sours and morphs into burdens, baggage and confinement.

Focusing on the single most important thing for today is the touchstone that I am using to align myself daily with Universal energy.  Far, far better to spend ten hours focusing and one hour acting from that alignment then spending ten hours of unfocused activity.

Creating Belief

Writing this is creating belief in the rejuvenating power of years when all energies are focused upon opening the way for the sheer flow of Universal energy.

I had a flash of insight the opened a door for me in the moment. It disappeared before I could write it down.  Remember, I need summarize the day as well as open the day with alignment.

Kicking the Tires of March 21, 2018

Morning Milepost

Sin Defined as Missing the Mark

Wow! Look at this definition of sin that popped on Wikipedia: “thought or action that endangers the ideal relationship between and individual and God.” Additionally, a Greek concordance defines “to sin”is to “miss the mark.”  What a delightful linguistic find; how well it merges with Abraham’s discussion of one’s individual alignment with Source.

Sin of Complacency

This morning, it became clear that I am a sinner.  I sin by my smug complacency.  I sin by resting on the self-satisfied conviction that my thought environment was basically “right.” In my fatuousness stance, I am 180 degrees out of alignment.

I am missing the mark in terms of my internal environment. My thoughts must change.  My feeling must change. I must rebuild, repaint, refresh, revise, refine, refurbish my entire internal environment.

How do I know that? It’s so easy.  I merely pay attention to what I am seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching around me and I have a faithful image of where I stand with my thoughts and feelings.

The Avenue of Desire

I am happy with much  in my environment, but I passionately desire so much more; I desire the tenth power of what I have now.  For today, I am happy with what I have.  At the same time, I am happy with the desire for more.

The sin lies in Not wanting more.   It is missing the mark Not to want more.  Wanting more requires releasing resistance and opening more to the energy and voice of the Universe.

Kicking the Tires of Thursday, February 8

Happiness is the Important Thing

The important thing is feeling happy.  The important thing is clarity. The important thing is focusing on what I want, not on what I don’t want.  The important thing is shifting my vibrational set point. As I write, I feel a shift in my confidence. I feel connected. I feel fulfilled. Life feels fun and worthwhile although I am not doing anything special.  I feel differences between states, and practice shifting to a state that feels better.

Attending the San Rafael Workshop

Why do I want to go to the San Rafael workshop? Because it would be fun to participate in person again in a room filled with people out to enjoy several hours of participation.  It would be a lot more fun than it ever was before because I am so much in a receptive state.  I would love participating in the workshop because it would just be something I love doing out of who I am.  It would just be fun to be in the hot seat just for the fun of the experience. Another thing that I would really love to do is subscribe again to the workshop master tapes.  I really love those so much. I love loving things.  I love feeling engaged and excited about things.

In this minute, I can say that I really love my life, I love being here typing and I love feeling expectation of exciting and wonderful things to come as well. I really love this experience of wanting things just for the fun and eagerness of wanting things.

Imagination Exercise

Pure and unadulterated desire focuses a flow of energy.  What would be even more fun is to go to the seminar and pay for ten more people to attend. Imagine living from impulse without a care in the world.  I laugh when I think how I planned in logical sequence and ruined my life. Well of course I mean ruined in a fun way. I am in the groove and having a wonderful time this morning.  Madness not to align myself for the day.  Think of managing the way I feel and my focused intention to create fun and lovely things and let the Universal Manager move mountains and molehills. Try it for an hour-or two-or forever.

Imagine playing violin in the world’s most dynamic and thrilled orchestra.  Imagine being surrounded by musicians lost in glory of creating music soaring to the skies.  Imagine playing outdoors in an open field by a bubbling brook.  Imagine playing to the galaxies.  Imagine dancing in tune to unheard of music of the spinning and expanding galaxies.

Kicking Yesterday’s Tires Today

Alignment for Saturday, January 13

Celebrating Micro Successes

Giggles! Successfully relaxed into well being for about an hour yesterday. A young man had the right numbers for ‘the big lottery.”  Electing the lump sum payment, he is over 200 million dollars richer. Think of it, abundance arrives out of the blue.  Think about this happy news; a young man is on the path of financial abundance for the rest of his life  That is in line with what I want: immersion in financial abundance so that I have what I want, easily and effortlessly for the rest of my life.  Imagine how much fun to remodel Genny’s mobile home from top to bottom, and put her up in a luxury hotel while it’s happening.  Imagine purchasing a brand new modular home for Linda and Greg.  Imagine gifting Cheryl with a million dollars!  Imagine flying Genny first class to Canada to visit her son, granddaughter, and grandchildren.

Fun Thoughts of Abundance $$$$

I love having fun, and one of the most fun things in all the world is providing good things, happy graphic of a modular home wiht a lawnthings, and fun things for people.  What I really like is my shift from dependence to independence.  Thinking about providing wonderful things for people is a really happy thought.  It feels really good just thinking about doing those things!  It feels good to think about Genny feeling vital, and energetic with strong legs returning to her ability dance.

Kicking the Tires of January 12

Relax into Awareness of Well Being

My shoulder is experiencing sensations reminiscent of sharp stabs with a blunt knife. However, this does not detract from luxuriating in well-being.  Inside a warm shelter while cold fog swirls around the outside.  A snuggly warm robe, a wonderful computer, cats on my bed, topped with the whipped cream of a subliminal erotic arousal. I am certainly more engaged with these wonderful experiences.  I enjoy focusing this way when I remember the way I felt when I was wracked with feelings of discomfort.  

Think of those great lyrics from “Westside Story.”  I feel pretty, oh so pretty, it’s alarming how charming I feel.  A thought drifted across my mind that I really like thinking.  What if the deliberate cultivation of well-being combined with the active practice of vivid imagination, opens doors to a new journey, far more exciting than I deemed possible.  A new way of participating in the world that is far outside the box of expectations, imagine driving a hundred miles an hour without trees in the way.

Remember, it’s too big to control-all I can do is guide my thoughts and allow “The Manager” to work it out.

Kicking the Tires of January 11

Yesterday’s Successes

Self Correcting Electrical Outlets

Celebrating a success yesterday!  Got the electrical outlets working in both my bathroom and in Genny’s bathroom.  Magic!  I got a red light on my surge protector indicating there was no grounding in the electrical outlet.  Dug out my tester, and through a series of inspired mistakes, discovered that the “reset” buttons needed a very hard and deep push to reboot the outlet Now both outlets work.  For me that means I can recharge my toothbrush, and use my hair dryer right from the bathroom.  That’s a big yes.

A Fist Full of Dollars

Deposited forty dollars into my account! Rolling in riches!

Kicking the Tires of January 10

Two Lightbulbs

Listening to my morning Abraham fix, switched on to lightbulbs

First Lightbulb-Parents Aren’t my Source

First was the revelation that ran around with a vibrational mindset about not having enough money because my parents were experiencing vibrations of not enough money.  I was aligned so closely with my parents that I saw them as the source of my survival, and the source of what I wanted. An easy mistake.  I can move both my understanding of Source as well as my vibrational set point to something very different. Focus wheels are an ideal activity for shifting my set point.

Fun script

graphic of two coffee cups and saucers
Coffee Set photographed by Gabriela Talerico

However, I’m going to write a fun script that is easy to post.  I am sitting at my little desk, with the perfect cup of coffee, listening to music, and working on my podcast.  My desk is white but very high tech because I can easily raise it to standing height, or lower it to sitting.  Actually, I don’t drink coffee when I am working at the computer.  Off to the side, I have a loveseat, covered in pale yellow silk.  There is a white coffee table in front of it with a gorgeous coffee set in floral porcelain.  There is a thermal coffee pot with a built in warmer.  There are four matching coffee cups and saucers, a creamer sitting in a dish of ice and three small bowls with different sugars, and tiny porcelain shakers with ground chocolate, cinnamon, nutmeg and cardamom.  My assistant ushers in three people, with whom I am negotiating the purchase of fifty acres in Alberta.  I am planning to build a wonderful care home for the elderly disabled.

Second Lightbulb-Too Big to Control

My life is too big to control; the only thing I can do is guide my energy; guide my alignment to universal energy, guide my vibrational set point, and allow my universal manager to work it out for me.  I have always been lousy at control, so I might as well give up trying to control anything other than my vibrational set point.

 

Kicking the Tires of Monday January 8

More, More, More

When I was thirty-five, it was about being world weary and jaded.  I buttered my morning toast with cool cynicism.  Here I am seventy-one and I wake up craving MORE. More life, more energy, more desire, more interesting things, more things to learn.  

Life Re-Write

From the git-go I passionately desired independence.  I wanted to go my own way, blazing my own trail.  I loved my parents, but wanted to be unburdened by their love.  I wanted freedom from their view of the world, and their standards for living.

I lived confident in my own abilities to make a good life without assistance from anyone, anywhere, at any time. Innately I was extremely successful regardless of ups and downs. I never doubted my ability to turn setbacks into successes. I didn’t turn away from desires because I tuned in, tapped in, and turned on to my connection with source, that same powerful energy of suns, moons, stars, and galaxies

That confidence in my power to create a wonderful life, is more alive now than it ever was.

Kicking the Tires of Sunday January 7

Inspired Writing

Yesterday, I wrote, then posted the following:

This week two strangers received joyous news.  A match was found for a new kidney. Their struggle to live under the shadow of renal failure is over.  The donor was my cousin Penny, who passed from this life January 4th when her life support was disconnected.  One door closing opened two others. Life passes to life. Like water, life takes many forms and shapes that are beyond our ability to see. Penny lives in our memory, and in the lives of others as well.

I didn’t have the slightest emotional tie to my cousin, who I only saw when she was three years old, yet I cried when I wrote it because it was inspired by Source.

Alignment

As part of my new daily routine, I spent some time aligning myself with well-being.  From that I was inspired to that tribute to my cousin.  What was important was the insight that I gained.  Life passes to life.  It takes myriads of shapes and forms but life is eternal, and there need be no sorrow, nor sense of loss.  When I read or write something that comes out of source, I cry. Abraham says that crying is an indication of residual resistance. So I accept it simply as a signal.

Feeling Good about Socks

Writing about alignment, remembering moments of alignment, remembering feelings of alignment all assist me with realigning with the vortex.  Do you know what I feel really good about?  Do you know what really makes me happy are my new socks.  When I read about them, I felt that they would be good socks, and my instinct was right.  They are perfect socks; the right thickness, the right height, the right coziness, the right colors.  Life is good because I own perfect socks and was able to throw away the abominable socks. Nuclear war threatens, but I am happy because I own perfect socks

Kicking the Tires of January 6

Daring to Give up Responsibility for my Life

Imagine this! Imagine completely giving up responsibility for my life! Think of this.  My responsibility is choosing the better feeling thought, and having preferences. Then allow the ship’s captain and the navigator to guide my ship while I relax and enjoy.

Get Out There and Mix It Up

Think about Thursday with it moments of very different experiences with new people, among them a two-year little boy. Its experience of getting a meal on the table. It’s experience of dealing with vomit.  It was awful in a wonderful way.

Just getting out of my comfort zone, and dealing with stuff and dropping enough resistance to allow useful suggestions to flow through me Yes, I do want to get out and mix it up.  If I roller coaster up and down the emotional scale, that’s totally OK because I get more and more experienced reaching for what feels good.

Imagine giving myself permission to have what I want! That’s an idea that gives me shivers of pleasure. I say “Yes! I am totally willing to give myself permission to have what I want.”

Kicking the Day January 5

Right now, I am feeling reverberations from yesterday’s visit by relatives. A substantial focus of energy was needed to prepare for the visit. The feelings of effort was of course my resistance. Right now, I have happy feelings about the visit. That happiness relates to dropping my resistance in a way that I could render assistance in a way that others perceived as valuable.

I’m promising myself to daily practice of imagination. Practicing creative imagination in order to generate better feeling while distracting my attention to the conditions around me.  Abraham says the conditions surrounding me are things past, done and over with.  Using imagination focuses me on the creative power of the now.

Trickle of Abundance

Already, I am experiencing so much value from aligning my day, that I am eager to add an evening alignment as well.  Happily, I am finding the feeling place of financial abundance. It’s a trickle of feeling but in Itasca State Park in Minnesota, I stepped over a tiny trickle of water that becomes the mighty Mississippi in just a few miles.  The trickle of abundance that I feel can just as easily become the abundance so vast that I cannot see across it.

Kicking the Day January 3, 2018

A New Habit: Feeling Good

Time to focus on feeling good!  What I like is knowing that I can move myself to a much better feeling place. I choose good feeling music. I tone up and down the scale with a pitch pipe. I sing.  I think about feeling really good instead of thinking about the conditions around me. I use imagination to create a place that feels good.

Imagining

One of the things that I really love is sitting on a nice sun warmed flat rock near the ocean, and losing myself in the hypnotic rhythm of the waves.  The quiet mindless-ness merging myself always feels good. I feel a sweet breeze on my face. The warmth of a mild sun, just warm enough to sit comfortably without a jacket. Smelling the saltiness of the ocean; hearing the cry of the gulls wheeling overhead.  Down the beach a dog runs with a stick in his mouth.  Sandpipers run along the beach.  Little waves dissolve into a wash of water. How do I feel now? I moved up the scale to one step below satisfaction.

Practicing New Thoughts

Yesterday, I gave up empathy because I don’t want to add another link to the chain of pain. A person in my life experiences pain in her back- again.  I assist by applying a prescription gel to her back because she cannot reach it herself, but offer no expressions of sympathy. I don’t allow myself to feel badly because she does.   Instead choose thoughts about her true nature. Source knows her as bright and healthy, Source knows her as a capable and loving person, filled with generosity and love. If Source knows her as a capable, loving and generous person, then I know her as a capable, loving, and generous person filled with well-being.

Daring to Think Well of Myself

I choose to look through the current presentation to see who she really is and connect with that;  However, to do that, I must look through my own manifestations of resistance, and experience myself as Source experiences me: generous, humorous, loving, filled with the enjoyment of the craziness. This takes me down an interesting alley.  What about this business of seeing myself as one of the ten most wonderful people in the world.  Source adores me; what if I adore myself completely and without reservation. Little voice tells me its wrong to adore me because I don’t live up to certain standards.  Wow! An entire chain of thoughts streaming through my head telling me I can’t adore myself and think of myself a totally wonderful. It’s delusional, its egotistical, I am not perfect. I don’t know unless I allow myself to experience myself as the best thing since sliced bread.  Everyone around me is so lucky that I am near their experience.

End Note

The person in my life just came by to tell me how much the gel application has helped her back; I know that has to do with my shift in the way I choose to view her.

Kicking the Day January 2

It’s About Feeling Good

Alignment is about feeling good; purely feeling good without regard to any circumstance, event or situation.  Alignment is about simply feeling good without attempting to fix anything, or change anything.

Am I feeling good right now?  Nope, I am not feeling good because I am running a background dialogue about my environment, and about myself that feels like a muttering discontent. Just identifying that the “normal” feeling that I carry around is not joy and happiness and content opens a little door to pivoting.

Feeling Good without Conditions

Feeling good is not connected to a because. There are no conditions to feeling good. Feeling good is not contingent upon circumstances. There are lots of unhappy people in this world. Joining that unhappiness merely adds another link to a chain of pain. It is certainly not going to create a good day for me. For this day, I am giving up empathy. I am giving up feeling sorry for anyone.  That applies to my dear friend G. In my heart I am saying “G.I don’t know what your are feeling about your family. If you are feeling bad about your family, you are on your own. I am not joining you in your bad feelings to make you feel that I am on your side. Instead I will do my best to feel as happy as I can with all interactions with you.

A New Habit for 2018

Fifty-eight years ago, my parents were immersed in bad feelings that led to divorce.  Right in line with them I felt very bad indeed.  I didn’t know then that my feelings didn’t depend upon the way my parents felt.  I didn’t know the one thing I could control was the way I felt. So, I developed a habit of feeling bad.  I dragged that habit through my life for the next fifty-eight years. Even sillier, I fastened on to the idea that feeling bad made me somewhat superior. Idiot. Time for a new habit: feeling good.

Today’s Script Ture for October 26

Had some wonderful dreams last night. All I remember was the feeling of the dream. It felt delightful: good things were happening and everything was working out for me. Today I am writing about a successful organization imbues senior citizens with power: political and social power. Why? Because I want to have senior citizens to have more fun in the third stage of life than they had before. I want senior citizens front and center in society, not shunted into a backwater.

 

Bricks of Imagination

Yesterday, I knew what I was going to write; today, I am not so sure.  I’d boarded a train of thought that promised an interesting journey. Overnight doubt and uncertainty arrived to cast shadows of “maybe I shouldn’t,” and “maybe I am wrong.”Read More »

Creating Belief

Practicing Belief in the Power of Imagination

First I gave lip service to the power of imagination it because I liked the idea.  I did some imagination exercises. Nothing happened, nothing changed-so it seemed.  I left everything on a shelf to gather dust. Lackadaisically, I picked up the idea again, played around a little, and dropped it again. So on, and so forth.

On some level, something stuck because my theme “power of the imagination” gains a more of a hold every day.  I find myself on the threshold of believing.  I believe that belief is an objective in and of itself. I believe I can practice the deliberate application of belief.  Imagination is both the miner’s lamp and pickax that I will use to explore this cave of the mind.Read More »

Using Imagination: Clearing the Slate

Clearing the Slate for Imagination Attribution: accumulated works of Joseph Murphy “The Power of the Subconscious Mind.” Between yesterday and this morning, I discovered for myself the validity of something Joseph Murphy wrote. Pay attention to the stuff you allow into your head. It’s certain sure that it doesn’t serve me to allow the talking […]

2017 A Year of Imagining 2017

In the middle of last December, I was creating cat designs to print on coffee mugs. Futzing around for quotations, I stumbled over one by Maxwell Maltz. I kept coming back to it.

“A human being always acts and feels and performs in accordance with what he imagines to be true about himself and his environment…For imagination sets the goal ‘picture’ which our automatic mechanism works on. We act, or fail to act, not because of ‘will,’ as is so commonly believed, but because of imagination.”

Maxwell Maltz, New Psychocybernetics

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The Christmas Letter I Didn’t Send

Merry Christmas! Peace and Goodwill to All

The annual “Christmas Letter” morphed into an op ed piece, that I didn’t want to inflict on my family and friends. So  I will publish it here. This blog is under the radar: it won’t be read unless total strangers fall over it on their way to something better.

             I will say It’s nice to say Merry Christmas-again. . .. I confess that I don’t spend much time with “the news” in any form. Most of my attention focuses on books, what’s new in technology, and the latest gossip from the horse world.

Retreat into Bleak

The ban on “Christmas” sort of drifted over my head. The “Happy Holiday” signs in all the stores made little impression because I don’t show up at malls between November 17 and January 6th. I woke up to this bruhaha the second week in November at the library-of all places.

I was shut away in a back room with four others banging out our NaNoWriMo novel. One of the librarians shared the room. She was covering books with brown-bag paper, and decorating them with large gold star “stickers.”  She told us that she planned using these to create a large “book tree” for part of the library’s holiday decorations. I made some comment about using brightly colored paper. Much to my surprise, the librarian, in all seriousness, informed me that colored paper would make the decorations too exclusively Christian in tone. My internal response was a blend of surprise, irritation, and laughter.  I held my tongue and refrained from pointing out that stars were a major symbol of a Christian holiday.

This one size fits all business results in cloths that not only don’t fit, they lack both color and life.  The removal of tailoring from clothes and color from fabric results is among the first little devils raising its head in a totalitarian society. Especially those proclaiming “its for the good of the people.”

Returning to Color and Fit

Instead of creating decorations in beige, why not decorate inclusively:  the red and green of Christmas, the blue and silver of Hanukkah, the. green and black and white and red of Moslem festivals. Of you have to add the riot of colors used to celebrate the Hindu Diwali!

            I love the holiday season, with all the lights, the special coffee concoctions at Starbucks, the wrapping paper, the potlucks, the feelings of community, and generosity.  All of us need a break from the crazy hubbub of the first fifty-one and a half weeks. We need festivity. We need a space for mystery and wonder.

Were I king, I would mandate a holiday celebration lasting from December 24th until January 6th! To paraphrase William Blake, “you don’t know what enough is, until you’ve had too much. After twelve days of holiday, it will be sheer joy to return to work.

Wishing all of you lots of colorful clothes tailor made clothes, and a really good time wearing them.

 

graphic of namowrimo cartoon

Writer Returning from NaNoWriMo

Successful Failure at NaNoWriMo

Did I actually submit a 50,000 word novel on November 30, 2016? Nope! Nevertheless, I feel successful.  Without a plot, without a winkle of an idea, I waded in and typed, typed, typed. A plot emerged, albeit a bad one. Characters emerged, albeit cardboard. Once finished, this novel will be dreadful. I will never see the light of day. Then again, maybe it will as an anonymously published kindle book. 🙂

Gain One from NaNoWriMo

It is much easier for me to write with momentum. The habit of stopping to mull over the right way to phrase a sentence has disappeared.  From time to time, I rewrite a sentence from certain knowledge of a better way to phrase the thought. But I don’tt spent time mulling and pondering.

Gain Two from NaNoWriMo

Wow! my writing has really improved.  More verbs, many more active verbs. The count of inactive verbs decreased by sixty percent. As a side comment, I always enjoyed reading Dick Francis mysteries because he wrote them with so much forward momentum. That probably came from his years and years of riding horses over hurdles. Forward momentum is the key to that game.

Gain Three from NaNoWriMo

Surprise! I now look forward to writing. Once I procrastinated when it was necessary to write.  Now I enjoy writing. I look forward to writing. My day feels empty if I haven’t written anything.

Gain Four from NaNoWriMo

Now I consider myself a writer. Am I a good writer? No. Certainly I will improve as a writer. But being a mediocre writer no longer stops me from considering myself as a writer. The gift of grace that comes from crossing into decade seven is that celebrate other writers, without needing to compare myself.

Visit this organization’s web site at the link below.

National Novel Writing Month organization

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Out on a Limb with a Saw

My writing habit is coming along.I write daily, leaving my pen prints here and there; hither and yon. Much to their surprise, a number of folks in the blogging universe found comments from me.

A week ago, I made a grand and crazy gesture that placed me on a limb with a saw. I committed to NaNoWriMo. That is the National November Write a Novel Month. It means I have to write a fifty thousand word novel by midnight, November 30.

This is going to be a volume effort. No plot, no editing, just a continuous flow of words with minimal coherence.

I’m jazzed!

Smoke of Indecision

To day’s post is inspired by another person’s blog. Adding a comment, I said many of my days had gone up the chimney in the smoke of indecision.

I am five days into decade seven and I can’t waste time and energy on worry about making the right decision. I encountered an “Abraham”  quote that said ” make a decision, then make it the right decision.” As a corollary, it was also said, make more decisions.

An eye opener!  I’ve found its not the decision but the focus, the attention, and the energy directed to the decision that gives it life.  I have noticed myself drifting in indecision with small things like should I brush my teeth now or after breakfast. Should I have eggs for breakfast. 

While I am making eggs for breakfast, part of my mind is still thinking about pancakes. Can you believe it? I have a mental foot in two doors. No wonder I get tired.

Now I keep a quarter in my pocket. Head i do it; tails I don’t. If I cringe at the outcome, then I do the opposite.

Now here’s a trait that really sets my teeth on edge these days. People who question decisions that have nothing to do with them. I am beginning to think that for some its just a game to see if I can be unhinged.  Grrrh!

Berserker Kind of Day

Berserker Morning

In a snit.  I could spit. Fur rubbed the wrong way in four directions. As Lady Caroline Lamb said of George Gordon, Lord Byron “mad, bad, and dangerous to know.”  I claim kinship with those old Viking berserkers.  Imagine the satisfaction of pulverizing the landscape with a battle ax!

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Patterns

Patterns-I Forgot Why

I discovered a saved draft sans content but titled “Patterns.”  If that was a nascent idea brewing, it vanished. Might be fun to pick up this thread and see where it leads now.  What comes to mind is argyle socks, followed by paisley shawls, striped shirts, and chequered anything (sorry I like the British spelling.)

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The Panda Planner and I

Graphic
Closed Panda Planner

Panda Planner

My new planner, the “Panda Planner” arrived from Amazon yesterday. For six years, I have been sans planner.  Before retirement (B.R.), I my annual ritual was purchasing a massive year planner from “that store” specializing in planners and planner accessories.  After handing over a hefty chunk of change, I left the store with a substantial plastic bag and renewed determination to organize my life once and for all.

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Status Report for Creating a Writing Habit

Its All About Measurement

“I have been struck again and again about how important measurement is to improving the human condition.”~ Bill Gates

“Measurement is the first step that leads to control and eventually to improvement. If you can’t measure something, you can’t understand it. If you can’t understand it, you can’t control it. If you can’t control it, you can’t improve it.” ~  H. James Harrington

Measurements inform me about my progress to creating a writing habit.
  1. Step one: Set a baseline  for future measurements. Three hundred words every two days. I have accomplished this by establishing a new habit. When I sit down to write, I replace the internal image of a black rectangle with the image of a yellow rectangle.
  2. Step two: Set a new goal for the next ten days: writing 300 words per day for five days a week.

What if All We Have Left is Our Habits?

Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary defines obsession as thinking about something or someone too much or in a way that is not normal : having an obsession : showing or relating to an obsession.

Habit of Thinking the Same Thoughts At the Same Time: Should I Stop Brushing My Teeth?

I am having an obsession-again. Obviously, I am obsessed about habit. I’m spending a lot of time thinking about the way habits shape our daily lives. Observing myself, I notice a habit of recurring patterns of thought.  Brushing my teeth this morning, I noticed a sequence of thoughts drifting through my mind.  It was a jolt to realize the exact same sequence of thoughts drifted through my mind yesterday, and the day before, and the day before. What’s worse it was a sequence of  unhappy thoughts about my parents’ divorce- both of whom died years ago.  If brushing my teeth triggers a string of threadbare unhappy thoughts, maybe I should stop brushing my teeth. Maybe I should change my brand of toothpaste, and swap in a bright new line of thinking.

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A Procrastination Habit Called Boring

One Day’s Success Replacing a Habit

Today, I took action on yesterday’s plan to replace the “habit of the black rectangle” with a new habit.  When I sat down to write, I placed a circle of bright neon colors in front of my mind’s eye.  Fun but too distracting; opted instead for a deep yellow rectangle.

That worked-at least for today because here I sit knocking out another post. Isn’t it supposed to take twenty-one days to establish a new habit? That probably applies only to desired habits.  Bad habits require twenty seconds.Read More »

Procrastination Habit Called I Don’t Have Anything to Say

The Habit Called I Don’t Have Anything to Say

Sitting down with an intention to write triggers a response that feels like the theater house lights just came down. Suddenly a black rectangle shows up in front of my mind’s eye and I have been struck dumb, sans idea, sans thought.  If this is a matter of habitual response to a trigger, what do I do to establish a new habit? Can it be a simple has replacing that image of a black triangle with a white one, or a yellow one, or a scintillating neon one?Read More »

Why this Urge to Blog

photograph of Blogger
Blogger

What is it about this urge to blog?

What is it about this urge to blog.  Certainly, I have been erratic. I started four blogs with the best of intentions, then abandoned them by the side of the road. Well not really by the side of the road; they are in a blog orphanage where I can visit from time to time.

A Need for Expression

Once again “that urge” drives me to the keyboard to say something and pitch it into cyberspace. Here’s what I think today. I am on board with the view that “we all” have a need to express ourselves. Perhaps it is better said that we all have a need to be seen and heard.  For some of us the need is fleeting, for others the need is as strong as the need for water in the desert.

Just More Noise

While I am writing this, my head is simultaneously asking: “does the world really need more noise?”  After all, pushing the publish button will contribute nothing more than adding another teaspoon to the din and clamor in cyberspace.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun-Even When Grey

On the other hand, I am old “. . . I wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled…do I dare to eat a peach?” (Ah, T.S. Eliot).  It’s vastly unfair that it took some grey hairs and a wrinkle or two to wake me up to the possibilities in life opened to me through the communications magic blossoming overnight.  How fun is it to write something and make it available to thousands and thousand even if it is never read? Lots and lots and LOTS of fun.

There you have it, rather there I have it! My urge to blog is an urge to have fun with all the wonderful tools for communicating.

P. S.  I am of the opinion that damn tree does make a sound when it falls: it doesn’t need anyone to hear it.  Just like I write and don’t need anyone to read it.

 

 

And The End of All our Exploring

A long time friend returned home with the news that her sister’s ovarian cancer is invading her lungs. The prognosis is dim; the two of them have put their heads together and are spending hours planning the wrap up of a life.

During our telephone conversation, I shared with my friend that for my mother’s memorial I used a quote from T. S. Eliot.  Failing to remember the quote verbatim, I had to revisit T. S. Eliot’s “Four Quartets.”

During my college years as a literature student, this set of poems fell on blind eyes and deaf ears. Reading it again umpty decades later, I discovered a treasure. Instead of skimming for a quote, I sat down for a serious read and stood up again transformed.  There is a free download copy of Four Quartets at http://www.coldbacon.com/poems/fq.html

Here’s the quote I sent to my friend: from Little Giddings, Four Quartets by T. S. Eliot

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

Dear Audience

Blogging 101 #4: Writing to your audience

Photo of purple flowers growing by the road side
Living leaf by leaf, petal by petal

I am part of a group title “Life Change” sponsored by the psychiatric division of a health provider specializing in providing Part B coverage for the Medicare crowd. This group is composed of men and women who are less than enchanted with the results of living beyond the bloom of youth.

Ninety days was the span allotted to this group; the end is nigh. Soon we will disperse to the borders of the county. Changes are we will never see each other again because the patterns of our lives are so different. Nevertheless, there is so much common ground.

  1. Arriving at the gates of 65, we still have more questions than answers.
  2. We have not congealed into amorphous blobs label senior citizens, but remain individuals with eccentricities, habits both good and bad, likes, lust and dislikes.
  3. In spite of, or maybe because of the diminishments gifted by aging, we each need to make a choice each and every day: to engage with life to the fullest extent of our capabilities, or to disengage and let the moments of the day simply slide away.

Change your title, change your focus

Hocus, Pocus, FOCUS, Dominocus!

Focus being the key word.  Assignment Two asked us to revisit the title and the tagline of our blogs and ask ourselves if the combination reflected the subject of our blog, and our personality. The title and tagline of my blog certainly felt loosey-goosey to me.  It lacked focus. It lacked a core. It lacked an axel around which the wheel could turn.

 

Photo of a tire
Roadworthy at 65 mph

“Kicking Days” popped up with an image of “kicking the tires” to see if a car was roadworthy. Further research turned up the information that “kicking the tires” is a financial investor’s term for researching a company to see if it was investment worthy. Even more research turned up the Latin phrase “E tira kikium” that loosely translates to “a kick for luck.”

Voila, a one word change to the blog title, plus a change to the tagline has refocused my blog to a task to which I look forward. (HA no prepositions at the end of that sentence)

Informal photo of woman with short hair and glasses

Blogging 101 – Who am I and Why Am I Here

At the end of the first quarter of 2015, I dropped myself into depression, despondency, despair, disillusion, desperation, doom, gloom and financial disarray. On a Friday morning, I walked out the front door with my purse and my car keys, leaving behind my home and ninety-nine percent of my possessions.  I also had a cat carrier, fifteen cans of cat food, a water bowl, and a small litter pan.  A cat was inside the carrier; Sassy Pants a tortie queen. She is my cat.  I did not kidnap, steal, or otherwise extract her from a neighbor.

Now I and the cat, are living with my sister in a new town 68 miles from the town in which I lived for 19 years.  Once a week, I attend two group therapy sessions.  I scheduled these back to back, because it is more convenient to drive a thirty-six mile round trip once a week instead of twice a week.  I look forward to the end of August, when both sessions wrap up.

For now, days are divided between a little housekeeping, a little garden maintenance, naps, short trips around town. Once upon a time, I owned a little Canon Sure Shot and I never took pictures.  That camera was left behind.  All I have is the camera in my Windows Smart Phone, but I find real pleasure in taking five or six pictures every day during my morning walk.  The pictures are all of small things: little flowers, a cobweb, five wild blackberries.

When I saw the announcement of this blogging course, I thought it would be fun to resume blogging by posting about small pleasures.

Rebellion

A persistent cat standing on my chest, insisting on breakfast has me up at six on a Sunday morning.  I am happy to feed the cat.  Against everything else and anything else, I rebel.  I understand and emphathize with the two year olds who scream NO to everything.  I am too big to be literally picked up and carried away, or locked away. Others things push me into actions and responses against which I rebel.

One of the “push factors” is the approval of those who are providing me with a roof, hot water, indoor plumbing, and food.  Is it survival instinct that moves me to act in opposition to the rebellion of my spirit? Is it my own inbuilt standards?

imagine what would happen if I did absolutely nothing at all for 24 hours; said NO to absolutely everything for 24 hours without being catatonic, in a coma, traumatized, or sedated. Imagine what I would do, or not do if the inbuilt set of standards disappeared completely for 24 hours.

Am I anything at all outside a set of preconditioned habits of thinking, feeling, and activity?

Does it matter? What matters?

Sounds a bit existentional to me, and I was never a fan of Camus or Sartre. That was then, maybe I will be now. ” I post therefore I exist”

What’s Next and What For

March 27th of this year, I took the final steps to stop and disappear my life. It was the culmination of a carefully laid plan. The fact that today is Kentucky Derby day, and I am posting a blog tells you that my best laid plan went “aglee.” (Nod to Bobbie Burns).

Today Sassypants (a cat) and I are in the custody of my sister and her long-term significant other. I attend one group session a week and will start a second one in mid May. The overwhelming feelings of shame and hopelessness that contributed to the thoughts and feelings that my life should stop have for now receded. Actually I am feeling good; I am even feeling light-hearted.

Nevertheless, I have questions about the value of living on through the inevitable period of decline, loss, and limitation that involve the final stages of life. That’s what I will be looking at as I am kicking my days.