Category: Imagination

KICKING THE TIRES OF SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20

S R Janssen

A.M. Wobbles

This morning’s meditation wobbled; my concern for G. distracted me. Still I reached a measure of centered calm. Had there been an emergency, I would have had the equanimity to deal with it.

Of course, I recognize that ninety percent of my concern is for myself. “How will I survive a change to my safe an comfortable circumstances?” That question always lurks in the dark basement of my mind.

As this month winds down, I intend to wind up confidence and belief that my well-being lies with my relationship with Source and not with parents, family, relations, bosses, teachers, or other figures of authority.

I am aware that I want a much better mood than this one. Before publishing today’s post, I must feel my way into a mindset that I like better. I’ll pick and choose among available thoughts, testing for the quality of the way it feels. Here’s a thought that feels buoyant: when I look at my previous work, I am always pleasantly surprised by how good they were. It wasn’t necessary to allow my frustration to abandon them on the wayside. 

I like the idea of moving ahead, because the output will always be better than I think it is.

KICKING THE TIRES OF SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13

S R Janssen
graphic of two coffee cups and saucers
Coffee Set photographed by Gabriela Talerico

As the sun shining up through the silhouettes of the palm trees that I see from my window, feelings of love for my life flood over me. Nevertheless, I see more clearly every day how what a negative mindset I have carried since I was about eight years old. In my heart, I knew that I was supposed to be happy but lacked the skills to maintain my happy state given the powerful influence of my parents’ unhappiness.

Listening to an interview with Michael Lewis yesterday was evidence for me that extraordinarily happy people live in this world and I am one of them. my one and only intention is living more happily each day. Joy is my primary purpose with happiness and fun the organizing principle for all my activities. In turn, I expect to extract a maximum of fun and satisfaction from the mundane tasks that contribute to a comfortable and tidy life.

There is not enough time left on my clock to waste on thoughts, feelings and activities that don’t feel good. It is urgent that I train my vision away from “what is” and focus my gaze on what my desires.

Thinking back on my mother, I feel so happy that my thoughts and feelings of her are filled only with love; my happiest accomplishment was the happiness and satisfaction that I felt caring for her during her final days. Writing this has suddenly conjured her presence, and I am happy that the feelings left are those of love.