KICKING THE TIRES OF MAY 7, 2019

Agave with blossom stalk

Today is the Better Tomorrow

Either I am on the verge of a chronic illness, or my general resistance to life is like a cement block because I conked out yesterday feeling exhausted. But, but, but I experienced a great deal of satisfaction from the results of painting the front panels of the file drawers, and raising the curtains by a foot.

I am getting quite practiced in simply dropping thoughts when I catch myself thinking thoughts about my now situation. It’s a shock to realize how much of my mental time is engaged with rancorous thoughts about other people. They are not dramatic; merely a continuous background rumble like summer lightning flashing miles above the earth.

The New Trick: Dropping Thoughts

When I catch myself thinking negative thoughts, I don’t waste a moment wrestling with it so that I am thinking a better thought. I simply drop the thought, leaving a brick of blankness in my mind. Occasionally, I jump to a better thought. It’s not a better thought about a situation I don’t like but thoughts upon a totally different topic. If I have uncomfortable thoughts about an upcoming bill, I think about flying kites in the stiff breezes of March.

KICKING THE TIRES OF MAY 7 2019

First thought of the morning

Stay in Bed Until You Lighten Up

Woke up thinking hard thoughts about life and feeling depressed and grumpy. Thought to myself “why bother getting up if I feel like this” particularly if my general goal is to extract as much fun and satisfaction as possible from each day. So I stayed in bed and looked at pretty, saccharine photos and listened to music until I reached a point of feeling better.

Shifting from sour to silly

Both “The Master Key” and “The Great Divorce” emphasize the value of feeling happy, and satisfied, and filled with appreciation. I am experiencing the validity of that for myself more and more each day. Yet, as I type, there is a voice of protest in the background. Speaking for myself, I notice how I cling to my old habits of sour and dour. That which I considered myself to be is revealing itself as nothing but a veneer covering my essential silliness and lightheartedness.

When life requires completion of a task I don’t like, find a way to gain a grain of satisfaction from it.