Stay in Bed Forever and Ever??

I’ve forgotten how awful I can feel. The business with the car has popped the cap on a bottle of fear and it’s fizzing all over. The world feels so hopeless that my greatest desire is simply to stay in bed-forever.

This fear is beyond my ability to manage: it has become my whole world. As tempting as it is to stay in bed, I really don’t want to do that. I have the option of getting up. Fear is going to be my companion today, but there are a lot of mundane and boring tasks with which I can distract myself until the fear recedes-as will happen eventually.

My Portrait in the Closet

My temper crawled out and spent the entire day with me. It’s a mean one, wearing a sheepskin of civility. The entire day spent with silent carping criticism, resentments, “if-only-that-person-were-better.” It has to stop for purely practical purposes.

• it shrinks my peripheral vision
• it raises my blood pressure
• it ruins my digestion
• it destroys my perception
• it limits my ability to see solution
• it puts me miles away from happiness.

Those virulent flare ups that cast havoc around me are nothing more, and nothing less than habitual behavior learned from the behavior of the people around me, who sincerely believed that blame, criticism and bad temper where effective methods of controlling their life. It doesn’t work for me at this point in my life.