Either I am on the verge of a chronic illness, or my general resistance to life is like a cement block because I conked out yesterday feeling exhausted. But, but, but I experienced a great deal of satisfaction from the results of painting the front panels of the file drawers, and raising the curtains by a foot.
I am getting quite practiced in simply dropping thoughts when I catch myself thinking thoughts about my now situation. It’s a shock to realize how much of my mental time is engaged with rancorous thoughts about other people. They are not dramatic; merely a continuous background rumble like summer lightning flashing miles above the earth.
The New Trick: Dropping Thoughts
When I catch myself thinking negative thoughts, I don’t waste a moment wrestling with it so that I am thinking a better thought. I simply drop the thought, leaving a brick of blankness in my mind. Occasionally, I jump to a better thought. It’s not a better thought about a situation I don’t like but thoughts upon a totally different topic. If I have uncomfortable thoughts about an upcoming bill, I think about flying kites in the stiff breezes of March.
Yesterday, I swung back and forth between vengefullness and neutrality. The canvass upon which I painted my moods was vengefullness for Easter Sunday, and the entire responsibility for the dinner preparation and the subsequent clean up fell on my shoulders. The seasoning was a series of jabbing criticisms illiciting the impulse to yelling “do it yourself then.”
The Cup of Imagination
There was so much momentum on those feelings that my only way to find ease was to think about something entirely different and engage in completeing tasks that were miles away from yesterday. I did swap my winter clothing for my summer clothing, and that was effortless. It is clear that I am repeating patterns from fifty years. The only way to align with my life of happiness, well-being, and crazy abundance is focusing the power of my imagination on what I want and disregard “the what is.”
For today, I want to feeling satisfaction, happiness, and appreciation. I desire a day where the people in my life are experiencing happiness and satisfaction. For me, satisfaction will be a thousand words in my book. a new post for the Front Door, belief in the abundance that will be flowing to me this month, and development of a richly satisfying career.
Feeling bad about missing several days. That disturbs me because I use each page as the compass for navigating a route to satisfaction in my day. Through writing I combine setting an intention for the day with building positive mental setpoint. Today, I must clean up the feelings that G’s issues with her eyes are interfering with my life. Instead of believing that I my desires and goals are taking a back seat, I choose to believe that my focus, my organizational skills, and my capacity for allowing the Universe to work things out has expended.
When push comes to shove I can’t successfully breathe for myself five minutes. My only real control extends to the amount of energy I allow to flow, along with my level of receptivity. My ability to recognize resistance daily becomes sharper and sharper, and I am daily becoming more skilled at shifting the resistance. As I am typing in this moment, I recognize the overwhelming sleepiness is nothing more than habitual resistance.