KICKING THE TIRES OF MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 7

This Labor Day indeed has been laborious, but not in terms of actual labor. The soaring temperature which is setting record highs across California is bringing the usual weekend activity in this home to a grinding halt. The few tasks that are getting done, are completed at a snail’s pace, or abandoned altogether. Both cats are flattened into rugs and comatose: Julio in the shower and Romeo in front of the living room fan.

Last Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, the Census had no cases for me. I retaliated by making myself unavailable for the entire Labor Day Holiday. And that with only a whisper of compunction. Driving around in heat clocking over 106 degrees would have done me in.

In my seventies, I find myself still worrying that “others” will think badly of me. I harbor thoughts of not holding up my end, and of other people thinking me unreliable. The truth is that I am unreliable: I am unreliable to myself, and fake reliability to others.

I feel such unease about doing only what I want to do, because I don’t trust myself to do the right thing. I have already proved I do not “do the right thing” anyway so I may as well stop splitting my energy. I can’t clean up what was done: I can choose my state of consciousness (reference Neville Goddard).

My Labor Day toil consisted of mapping the electrical circuits in this place and labeling the circuits in the junction box. As a result of this exercise, I concluded that the job I thought I could do myself will have to be done by a licensed electrician. Although my research on You Tube informed me about the “principle of the thing,” my attempts to fix the failed circuit in my bedroom would be hazardous. This is a case where spending money on expertise is the least expensive route to restored electricity.

KICKING THE TIRES OF AUGUST 19 2020

Creating with simple shapes

Right now, I am experiencing a situation that feels so uncomfortable. It is a situation that I created. It’s a situation that I’ve created repeatedly since I was in third grade. Explaining the details of that situation is looking backward and reactivating the energy of a feeling state that I no longer want to inhabit. To “put into words” re-freezes an unwanted state of mind. The concept of simply “assuming” a desired state enamors me. To hell with scientific studies: I am running with the idea of creation through imagination.

In conjunction with focused practice of imagination, I am putting into play the idea “nothing is more important than I feel good.” I love the concept of feeling good and feeling happy! There must be a law somewhere requiring one to feel unhappy when life is going wrong! I have certainly driven down that road forever. Time to turn the wheels onto the unknown road.