Don’t I just love those insights that make me laugh out loud because I have been such an ass. I woke up on the verge of creating a day filled with dissatisfaction because most of my morning hours will be consumed with errands and tasks for others.
I will not be able work on my NaNoWriMo project until this afternoon or this evening. I caught myself on the edge of building a wall of resentment with the bricks nattering. That would accomplish the following: making myself miserable with a bad mood; shutting off my ability to see and enjoy the little fun things of the day, possibly adding unhappiness to a person who is doing her best to deal with a current physical condition that frightens her.
By the time I sat down to my computer, I would have put myself in a such a growly and unpleasant state I couldn’t write anyway. What I an ass I can be when I forget that the only person that stands in the way of my accomplishment is myself.
Lying in bed this morning, I heard the best advice given to an ER physician: the best way to assist people is to stay connected to your own energy source and hook other back up to their own energy source. I can use that advice myself; stay connected to what I can to assist to others to hook back up to their energy source. I sure as a hell don’t do that when I continue to focus my attention on their momentary disabilities.
All I want to do right now is curl up and sleep for another hour, or two, or three. However, if a fairy godmother offered me the choice between napping and novel writing I would choose novel writing.
Although I don’t feel it right now, I know that I truly desire to finish the novel and be a NaNoWriMo winner. That desire is being held for me in storage, waiting for pick-up. On one level it is already completed; it was instantly finished when I decided to participate.
My job is to line up my thoughts and feelings. I need to dump old thoughts and beliefs filled with doubts and acquire new ones that support me as a writer.
After all, I am writing a 50,000-word novel that is free from any requirements at all in terms of being a good novel, or an interesting novel. The syntax requirement is basic; and the spelling and grammar requirements are minimal: they simply have to approximate English, as that is the language in which I write.
Furthermore, I am enjoying my characters, and I am interested in how the action will move them out of a luxurious life in Hartford ( why did I choose Hartford instead of New York?) to the mud and blood of World War I battlefields. Side Note: The fact that American Red Cross nurses were also in Russia and China is intriguing but needs to be set aside for now.
Understood clearly the concept of “virtual reality.” Its’ purpose is shifting focus away from “what is” to more pleasant, fun and uplifting thoughts. Shifting thoughts shifts feelings, that in turn shift vibration.
A Virtual Moment with a Real Writer
It’s a sparkling April day in Rome. Women wear sleeveless dresses in apricot, turquoise, ivory and lemon yellow. The sun kisses with warmth from a vivid sky. I am having lunch with one of my favorite woman authors. We are sitting at an outdoor café with espressos and bottles of mineral water. The two of us are having a wonderful time. The author is as lighthearted and enjoyable as I imagined her to be I feel myself to be at my lighthearted and wise best. Our heads are bent over an absorbing conversation that engages us both and having a wonderful time. Of course, the books that we love sprinkle the conversation.
No angst, no internal conflict, and resistance level down 2.5 point. Here I am basking contentedly in self-satisfaction. What a heady feeling to see, hear, taste, smell and feel satisfaction, yet simultaneously desiring much, much more. Happy, yet filled with anticipation. I am validating for myself the words and wisdom of Abraham expressed through the medium of Esther Hicks. You know, I want for myself as deep a connection with Universal mind as she has.
Over and over, I prove to myself from experience that spending the first minutes of the day meditating, aligning with Universal Mind, and reaching for better feeling thoughts yields benefits about five-hundred-fold in terms of ease and fun and satisfaction and inspiration. Thought is a funny thing. It’s not a funny thing; it’s a double-edged sword. When thinking lightly there is ease, while heavy though snarls the world around me. Abraham is right; its not a matter of thinking, it’s a matter of feeling your way through the world.