Category: Habits

SPINNING MY WHEELS AND GETTING UP TO SPEED

S R Janssen

“IIi

“I ain’t dead yet!”

Although I am sure that the handful of my followers certainly think so because I haven’t posted for how long? Let me count the years: one, two. Think I will don the green eyeshades of self-delusion and pretend it hasn’t been longer. My “end of days” plan was to write, write and write even more. The plan execution was avoid writing, avoid writing and avoid writing even more.

Here I am (with new driving gloves) reeving the engine, pulling out of the driveway, and entering the fast lane. It has the be the fast lane because I must increase my speed to 75 miles an hour to catch up.

The Thanksgiving when I was seven, I suddenly announced to the tableful of relatives that I was going to marry when I was seventy. To this day, I haven’t the foggiest what prompted that declaration. Here I am, past seventy, rarely a bridesmaid, never a bride.

So here’s the deal. Having no grandchildren (Holy cow, I am at the age of great-grandchildren) to justify my existence to myself, needs must hustle my butt to claim a better epitaph than

SHE ARRIVED, SHE LEFT AND HAD NO FUN ALONG THE WAY

KICKING THE TIRES OF MARCH 10

S R Janssen

After listening to a half-hour of Neville Goddard this morning, the following recognition of years wasted by carping negativity, and self-criticism sank me deep into the bedclothes. Somehow, it is not accurate to say “negativity and self-criticism.” I actually thought that unhappiness was the best way to operate in this world. I thought if I were unhappy long enough I would earn happiness. I held a mistaken belief that happiness was earned by racking up sufficient points “doing the right thing.” Of course, the “catch-22” was I couldn’t identify “the right thing” and spent decades vacillating among this, that, and the other.

Such a relief just being happy. There are no strings attached. Happiness is a state of being, independent of circumstance, environment and well-meaning relatives who know all about the best way to live their life.  Adding to the all-around fun is the discovery that I can be happy as a singing bird at the same time burning with desire for something I want.