What is it about this urge to blog. Certainly, I have been erratic. I started four blogs with the best of intentions, then abandoned them by the side of the road. Well not really by the side of the road; they are in a blog orphanage where I can visit from time to time.
A Need for Expression
Once again “that urge” drives me to the keyboard to say something and pitch it into cyberspace. Here’s what I think today. I am on board with the view that “we all” have a need to express ourselves. Perhaps it is better said that we all have a need to be seen and heard. For some of us the need is fleeting, for others the need is as strong as the need for water in the desert.
Just More Noise
While I am writing this, my head is simultaneously asking: “does the world really need more noise?” After all, pushing the publish button will contribute nothing more than adding another teaspoon to the din and clamor in cyberspace.
Girls Just Want to Have Fun-Even When Grey
On the other hand, I am old “. . . I wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled…do I dare to eat a peach?” (Ah, T.S. Eliot). It’s vastly unfair that it took some grey hairs and a wrinkle or two to wake me up to the possibilities in life opened to me through the communications magic blossoming overnight. How fun is it to write something and make it available to thousands and thousand even if it is never read? Lots and lots and LOTS of fun.
There you have it, rather there I have it! My urge to blog is an urge to have fun with all the wonderful tools for communicating.
P. S. I am of the opinion that damn tree does make a sound when it falls: it doesn’t need anyone to hear it. Just like I write and don’t need anyone to read it.
A long time friend returned home with the news that her sister’s ovarian cancer is invading her lungs. The prognosis is dim; the two of them have put their heads together and are spending hours planning the wrap up of a life.
During our telephone conversation, I shared with my friend that for my mother’s memorial I used a quote from T. S. Eliot. Failing to remember the quote verbatim, I had to revisit T. S. Eliot’s “Four Quartets.”
During my college years as a literature student, this set of poems fell on blind eyes and deaf ears. Reading it again umpty decades later, I discovered a treasure. Instead of skimming for a quote, I sat down for a serious read and stood up again transformed. There is a free download copy of Four Quartets at http://www.coldbacon.com/poems/fq.html
Here’s the quote I sent to my friend: from Little Giddings, Four Quartets by T. S. Eliot
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
I am part of a group title “Life Change” sponsored by the psychiatric division of a health provider specializing in providing Part B coverage for the Medicare crowd. This group is composed of men and women who are less than enchanted with the results of living beyond the bloom of youth.
Ninety days was the span allotted to this group; the end is nigh. Soon we will disperse to the borders of the county. Changes are we will never see each other again because the patterns of our lives are so different. Nevertheless, there is so much common ground.
Arriving at the gates of 65, we still have more questions than answers.
We have not congealed into amorphous blobs label senior citizens, but remain individuals with eccentricities, habits both good and bad, likes, lust and dislikes.
In spite of, or maybe because of the diminishments gifted by aging, we each need to make a choice each and every day: to engage with life to the fullest extent of our capabilities, or to disengage and let the moments of the day simply slide away.
Focus being the key word. Assignment Two asked us to revisit the title and the tagline of our blogs and ask ourselves if the combination reflected the subject of our blog, and our personality. The title and tagline of my blog certainly felt loosey-goosey to me. It lacked focus. It lacked a core. It lacked an axel around which the wheel could turn.
“Kicking Days” popped up with an image of “kicking the tires” to see if a car was roadworthy. Further research turned up the information that “kicking the tires” is a financial investor’s term for researching a company to see if it was investment worthy. Even more research turned up the Latin phrase “E tira kikium” that loosely translates to “a kick for luck.”
Voila, a one word change to the blog title, plus a change to the tagline has refocused my blog to a task to which I look forward. (HA no prepositions at the end of that sentence)
At the end of the first quarter of 2015, I dropped myself into depression, despondency, despair, disillusion, desperation, doom, gloom and financial disarray. On a Friday morning, I walked out the front door with my purse and my car keys, leaving behind my home and ninety-nine percent of my possessions. I also had a cat carrier, fifteen cans of cat food, a water bowl, and a small litter pan. A cat was inside the carrier; Sassy Pants a tortie queen. She is my cat. I did not kidnap, steal, or otherwise extract her from a neighbor.
Now I and the cat, are living with my sister in a new town 68 miles from the town in which I lived for 19 years. Once a week, I attend two group therapy sessions. I scheduled these back to back, because it is more convenient to drive a thirty-six mile round trip once a week instead of twice a week. I look forward to the end of August, when both sessions wrap up.
For now, days are divided between a little housekeeping, a little garden maintenance, naps, short trips around town. Once upon a time, I owned a little Canon Sure Shot and I never took pictures. That camera was left behind. All I have is the camera in my Windows Smart Phone, but I find real pleasure in taking five or six pictures every day during my morning walk. The pictures are all of small things: little flowers, a cobweb, five wild blackberries.
When I saw the announcement of this blogging course, I thought it would be fun to resume blogging by posting about small pleasures.